


Let Her Go

by larislynn



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 1940s, Angst, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Captain America: The First Avenger, F/M, Song: Let Her Go (Passenger), Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:27:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24462004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larislynn/pseuds/larislynn
Summary: Let Her Go by Passenger SongFic, Bucky doesn’t realize how much he loves you until you're gone (40's Bucky)
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Kudos: 6





	Let Her Go

He was shipping out in the morning. Saying goodbye to Steve had been hard, but he knew what was coming next would be even worse. 

Dusk was falling when there was a knock at your door. It was sharp and quick, and you rushed to answer it. Bucky was on your doorstep in his military uniform, a sad smile on his lips. “Hey doll, can I come in?”   


You nodded, an uneasy feeling washing over you. He stepped into the entryway, taking off his cap as he did so. “Do you mind if I turn on a light,” he asked, “it’s a bit dark in here.”  _ Well you only need the light when it’s burning low. _

Bucky took a seat on the sofa, but instead of sitting back like he usually did, he sat on the edge of the seat. Nervous and flighty, he fidgeted with the buttons on his sleeve instead of looking at you. Finally he glanced up and sighed. “I’m shipping out tomorrow morning, and the way this war is going,” he took a deep breath, trying to push down his emotions. “Doll, there’s a good chance I might not make it back. I love you, so much, but I don’t want you to be waiting for me. It’s best if we end this, for now at least.”   


“Bucky,” you touched his arm but he pulled away. 

“Please, I need to know you’ll be able to move on if anything happens. I’ll write to you, I promise, but I just,” he trailed off, once again not able to meet your gaze.

“I understand,” you whispered, your voice breaking. He pulled into one last embrace. There was so much he wanted to say, but there wasn’t nearly enough time. 

Snow was falling down, and Bucky shivered in his tent. They were perched near enemy lines, waiting for the command to attack. There were rumors that illegal testing was being done in this base, and that HYDRA, whoever they were, ran it. 

No sunlight peaked out through the clouds, just an endless, eternal winter. He sat near a smouldering fire, using the little bit of light it radiated to read his latest letter from you. It was short but sweet. Tracing his fingers over the swirls of your handwriting, he smiled. “I’ll be home soon, doll.” The wind picked up, blowing out the remainder of the flames.  _ Only miss the sun when it starts to snow. _

The HYDRA operative who was in charge of the ‘testing’ took all the belongings that were in his possession, including his letters from you. He smiled a twisted sort of smile as he burned them one by one. “No memories here. Only new beginnings.” As his last piece of home caught flame, he cried out, the sorrow, the pain, the heartbreak all crashing down at once.  _ Only know you love her when you let her go.  _

Steve sat in the bar, trying to recruit the other soldiers for the mission. It wouldn’t end with them all surviving, Bucky knew that. That’s why he sat apart from the group, thinking about what was about to happen. He would follow Steve into battle, he knew that, too. HYDRA had to be stopped, once he was freed that had been clear. 

“So,” Steve asked, taking the seat next to him, “you ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?”   


“Hell, no!” he responded with a smile, “The little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight. I'm following him.” 

But for some reason, when he fell asleep that night, trying to psych himself up for what was coming the next day, the only thing he could think about was the time he spent with you. 

_ Only know you've been high when you're feeling low. _

Standing on the edge of the cliff Bucky turned to Steve, “Remember the time I made you ride the Cyclone on Coney Island?”

“Yeah, and I threw up?” 

Bucky smiled at the memory before questioning, “This isn't payback, is it?” 

“Now why would I do that?” Steve asked jokingly. 

That day at Coney Island was filled with such good memories. He remembered your smile when you got on the coaster, the way you laughed as it whirled around the loops, the way your eyes were alight with adrenaline when the ride ended. Once again he thought to himself, the promise he had made to you without you even knowing it, “I’ll be home soon, doll.”

_ Only hate the road when you’re missing home. _

Below him, the frozen ground was rushing by. His grip on the rail was slipping, but he had to hold on just a bit longer.    


“Grab my hand,” Steve shouted over the rushing winds. 

He tried, he really did. But the rail gave way, and he was falling. Wind filled his ears and as the ground below grew closer. He closed his eyes, preparing for the impact. “I don’t think I’m going to make it home, I’m sorry doll,” he whispered, right before his body landed in the snow.

_ Only know you love her when you let her go. And you let her go. _

**Author's Note:**

> So this idea came to me a little while ago, but I didn’t intend for it to be as angsty and short as it is, so sorry about that! :0 But as always, kudos and comments are appreciated! Love you all <3


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